


Just... You.

by accidentallybroken



Series: You [1]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work, Vent - Fandom
Genre: I Don't Even Know, Weird, What Was I Thinking?, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 03:24:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11004945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidentallybroken/pseuds/accidentallybroken
Summary: I suppose you'll probably never read this, so I'll just.I don't even think you realize.





	Just... You.

**Author's Note:**

> I probably won't post frequently on this site the next few months. I'm not abandoning you, summers are just always super busy.

      

Patterns

I could see it begin, a few months ago. The pattern, the warnings. I saw the beginning. I knew, just like before.

I saw your steps, up to the precipice. But what could I say? How can I help you off of an unsure journey that I instinctively knew was going to end badly.

I saw you starting up to the cliff, taking the same steps I and so many others had taken time and time again.

I tried to stop. Support you. But how can I keep you away from a pattern?

I watched your ascent.

It broke my heart.

Seeing you changing so much.

It’s like an epidemic.

But how to break the pattern?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Confused.

It’s okay. You were just confused, making promises you couldn’t keep. I knew. It’s okay. I knew you wouldn’t keep it. How could you? You were just confused.

I hoped. That you meant it.

But I couldn’t believe that you did.

You were confused, and I meant it far too much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loose.

You made me feel looser. Like no one else. More willing to be me. More willing to laugh, and talk. Looser. Freer. Retaining depth, though.

You made me feel less wound up. I didn’t realize how tense I was, until I was around you.

 

You made me feel too loose. Like I was falling apart. And you didn’t notice.

I pride myself in being able to keep it together. What happens when I don’t even have that?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Need.

Sometimes I feel like I need you. Miss you, though I talked to you an hour ago. I don’t even think you realize. How could you? You haven’t seen any of this. You’re the one who sees the most, but you never see the things I need you to.

I need you, and it breaks my heart, in a small, dulled, private way, because I know you don’t need me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy.

I hope you’re happy. I hope you heal, and live, and love. I hope you’re happy, even if it means a twinge of sadness for me. Just a bit.

Not enough to hurt. A little knowledge, added to the pile at the back of my brain.

A little knowledge, multiplied by a mountain, only hurts a bit.

Just enough to get in the way of happy.

Isn’t it okay, If I’m not exactly happy but okay?

Maybe living vicariously, maybe not what I want, a little numb, a little lost. Not knowing where to go, but not wanting to be here. But it’s okay. I have a brave face. It’ll be okay.


End file.
